Bullying is a huge issue in schools these days, and since my guest blogger will be discussing adults in schools and bullying, I thought I would comment on the kids in schools who do not bully.
I work in a middle school and that is a time in life where kids are trying to find their place and want to fit in so very badly. Bullying can be a huge problem not only because kids believe that they are better than those they bully or anything like that, but because they see a certain kid or type of kid being bullied and they figure that if they don't join in, they will become a victim.
In my school, we are lucky that bullying has not led to any major issues like kids hurting themselves or others in a major way. Yet. I don't see a lot of bullying in the library but I know it exists. However, I also see a lot of really great kids.
I think as a teacher it is really easy to focus on the students who cause problems. These students are after attention in any way they can get it and so it is no surprise that they get it and drive teachers insane at times. There are also kids who do their work and help others and they don't always get as much credit for being good.
I see these kids in the library very often. I see kids who help other kids look for a book or help them with a project. I also see a lot of kids who make a point to say hello to students with special needs and I see it make their day. It doesn't take much to be a good person, especially in middle school, but that doesn't mean it is easy.
I also know some of the parents who volunteer their time in my library. I know a woman whose daughter comes home and talks to her about how she can let her friend know that she doesn't want to be his girlfriend, but really wants to be his friend. She talks to her mom about her friends talking about one another and how it is not the kind of person she wants to be. This girl also looks like your typical "popular" girl. She is pretty and does well in classes and is a great cheerleader...she just chooses not to be a "Mean Girl" stereotype but instead be good and kind.
I also see students who help teachers and their classmates with such big smiles on their faces that I know they are just good kids who are making the most of every day. .
I know that bullying is a problem, but I think one method of fixing it is to give these students I have mentioned a chance to be looked up to and admired so that everyone else can see that being good is easier than they think.
Bravo, Erin, for mentioning the students that don't often get a nod because they don't draw attention to themselves for negative behavior. I live in library land too and often see a different side of students there. Last year I truly appreciated our middle school library aide, despite the fact that she didn't always get along with the administration. For us she was helpful, respectful, kind and eager to learn.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of "mean girls", I recently had a discussion with my own twin 15 year old daughters. They have been playing summer league basket ball, taking their little rural team to a larger community to play against teams from other areas and it has been an eye-opener. Both other players and their parents have surprised us when it comes to what they think is acceptable behavior on the court and from the stands. It may not be considered bullying, but I see it as another arena where poor behavior seems to prevail. We ended our experience with a discussion about being a good person versus giving up your morals to gain a moment of success on the court. Thanks for bringing up the topic.
Lynn,
ReplyDeleteI imagine there is a huge difference in the behavior you see in a rural town versus a city and it's stinks that this is the case. You're right about poor behavior prevailing and it is only getting worse, most likely due to the anonymity of the Internet and social media. People are used to not seeing the person they are hurting and so they then start to act the same way in person and don't realize the harm they are doing. 15 year old twin girls, must be crazy and fun!